Twi-swearstoofuckingmuch's getting ready for Christmas (when she's not on her arse reading fanfiction)

So there's only a few days left until Christmas and getting ready for Christmas around the Twi-swearstoofuckingmuch household is usually a bit of a fail.  For example, the last few years, we'll get the Christmas tree up and then not bother to decorate it or maybe we'll throw a few lights on it and leave it.  I'm a lazy fucker sometimes what can I say?  

This year, I decided, was going to be different.  I planned on morphing into Martha-fucking-Stewart and the Twi-swearstoofuckingmuch household was going to be a festive for once. So far, not too bad.

Cookies baked?

WTF happened to the 2nd batch on the right?  They morphed into these flat blobs.  It's like attack of the ginger snaps.

Check!  

 Tree up? Lights strung?

Check!

Cat yelled at for trying to eat the tree?

 Check!

 Treasured ornaments hung?

Check!

Ah - how lovely!  A fully decorated tree!

I know - it leans towards the left (that's what SHE said!)

Oh - hold on!  I forgot one more thing for the tree.

 

Ta da!  

Yup - Twiswears is a crafty bitch.  I knit several cupcakes for the Christmas tree - even put beads for spinkles on the lil guys!  I was kinda hoping Tattward would magically appear - but alas he didn't. Oh well.  Can't win 'em all.  Maybe Santa will come through for me and I'll find Tattward with a bow strategically placed under my tree Christmas morning. That'd give my parents a surprise! Mr. Twi-Swears might not take it too well either, even as understanding as he is.

Now all this knitting has left Mr. Twi-swearstoofuckingmuch slightly puzzled.  "Cupcakes? On the Christmas tree? Really? Alrighty then"  I figured throwing a few cupcakes on the tree would be the only way I would get a little Twilight reference on the tree without Mr. Swears knowing all about it! Okay, it's a fanfic reference but - I had to find some way to mark the year that Twilight came into my life took over my life.  

Yeah, I just realized that they look like boobs.  I knit fucking breasts for my Christmas tree.  Boobs with a fucking red tassel.  FML.


p.s.  Er...I'm thinking about changing the name of this blog.  I'm thinking musings of a twatwaffle....thoughts?


p.p.s. I took the Mrs. P's Twibite challenge the other day and it's going to be posted here.  Should be good times. Go look tomorrow.  Hell take it!  She's a very funny bitch and it was a total blast to do!

Ooohhh the boss is coming!

Do you know the Arkells? You should if you don't already. Go check out youtube - there's a few of their songs up. I'll just wait here...

You back?

Did ya listen to this one? ( Sorry don't quite know how to embed videos yet)

Kinda reminds me of work and Twilight. You see - I got introduced to Twilight through work. For months I had been hounded and badgered into reading the books by my ENTIRE team. They kept trying to get me to read the books but when they said "teen vampire romance". My response was "You got to be fucking kidding me! You people like a teen vampire romance novel. Pffftttt." Finally I caved - just to shut them up. And oh boy did I ever cave- I read the entire series in 4 days, including at work for a few hours each day, when I knew the boss wasn't coming. I read it in between Client visits, in between phone calls, on break, you get the idea....

Now I must admit that being surrounded by Twilight fans has its advantages. I can openly lust about Rob, squee over trailers with co-workers, help plan our massive outing to see New Moon at the 19+ theatre. But they aren't into fanfic (and they aren't Twitarded types either). I fact I would bet that most of them don't even know what fanfic is.

So now I've delved into fanfic and regularly read it at work. Copy and paste is my friend, so is a tiny light gray font. I read most of CW & IA this way, same with WA and The Office. I should definitely NOT be accessing smut at work. I could get in serious shit. I.just.can't.stop! It's gotten worse since I signed up for alerts too! I've tried to pair it down to once a week - and lately there hasn't been the time. But I`ve got to stop this fucking nonsense!

Anyone else master of the alt-tab key? Anyone had issues at work? Do we need to start a support group? "Hi, I'm Twiswearstoofucking much and I read fanfic at work. A lot."