I typed Edward Cullen into etsy's search at work while bored and it came up with 3094 products. Most disturbing. I've determined that all the Twilight crap on etsy can be categorized.
1)Disturbing reproductive crap:
It's an Edward fetus. I don't think there's much more I can say about it. Remember Bella's wool uterus?
Next we come to "Essence of Edward".
First of all it's sounds like you're selling his spooge. Apparently it's beads or sparkle or some shit. So for ten bucks some chick will send you a little bottle of sparkles. Are you fucking kidding me?
2)Fucking ugly jewelery that I would never wear
Just what I want. Constipated Edward glaring at people from my ears. Awesome.
Oh and speaking of weird jewellery.
Wanna pretend you're Angelina? Here ya go! It's a vile neckless. I don't know if it comes with blood, or its a DIY kit, or even if it's red nail polish. It's creepy.
3) Speaking of appliqué sweaters. Next up: things that won't get you laid:
Fuck. This picture sucks.
It's a vinyl thingy that goes on your wall. Says O.C.D. with the usual "Obesessive Cullen Disorder" Apparently above your bed is the place to put it. *snort*
And since you won't be getting laid, you'll need something to cuddle up to after using your vibrator.
What? No? You don't want to cuddle up to angryward? Really? You sure? He looks so...so..comforting?
4) Shit that is unrelated to Twilight in any fucking way but the seller is trying to pass it off as related. Case in point:
Apparently this is a "Twilight inspired Edward Cullen Sock Pattern" It isn't even the socks people. It's a fucking pattern for you to make ugly gold socks.
What's the most disturbing twi-stuff you've ever seen?
8 comments:
Holy shit that Edward cuddle pillow is FRIGHTENING and hilarious! That made my day. Thanks :)
I'm LMAO at the Edward fetus! Do you think they would make Edward Cullen sperm if I asked?
@Twilove1 - go get these and attach some sparkles. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25872713
They sell anything on etsy.
Shoot I am going to miss the end of this football game - I can't stop laughing about this post - tears - aack. Too funny!
@Cullenary Curser - Well, it's official, then. They really do sell anything on Etsy. I think the little smiley faces need fangs in addition to the glitter. And maybe bouffants.
@dangrdafne - Glad I made ya laugh so hard.
@Twilove - Yeah it could totally be done. Fucking distrubing.
WTF is up with that Edward "pillow" thingy?! And WTF do they call those heinous things?! "Huggies"?? Like Snuggies but for hugs?? Oh wait huggies are diapers, right?? Oh man it's gonna be a loooong day. Thanks for the laughs! And other stuff...
; )
@STY - I dunno man-pillow? Fucking disturbing either way.
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