Black Bean Soup

"Did someone say soup?"

Laaaaadddddiiiiiieeessss...


Thought I'd share my Black Bean Soup recipe.  It's not actually veggie due to beef stock - but it tastes just as good with veggie stock.

So here's a picture what we're going to throw into the pot.  Well, except the spices - it's hard to take an  exciting picture of dried green flakes. Oh and the sour cream because I forgot about it.

Look!  I now have counter space! WIN!!

Also if can ignore the limp cilantro I'd appreciate it.  It's going to a better place soon.  Namely the soup, then my composter.

Alrighty, first step. Chop shit up. Or more specifically the carrots, red pepper, onion, jalapeno and garlic.  You want to have about 1 cup of the first three.  The recipe only needs 1 jalapeno in my opinion - so I'll stick with that.  As for garlic, well, whatever floats your boat.  The recipe calls only for one. Personally though, I'll think you're a pussy if you use anything less than 5 or 6 cloves.

Now how you cut said ingredients up depends on what you're going to do at the end.  If you're going to completely blend the soup then uniformity of how you cut stuff doesn't really matter.  The thing about blending it entirely up is that you end up with a purree that, er, well, doesn't look very good but tastes yummy.  So if you don't care what the fuck your co-worker thing of your lunch go nuts and random chop stuff up (you can revenge fart in their cubicle the next day).  The other two option are to blend about half the soup and combine the puree with the non-blended stuff, or not to blend it up at all.  In which case I recommend trying to cut things up evenly if you can.  And if you completely don't give a fuck then just cut it up randomly - it all ends up in the same place anyways.

I slayed the carrots first.

Carrots in case you'd never seen them before.

Okies, I'm going to show you how to cut up a red pepper.  I know it sounds kinda dumb, but I'm going to do it anyways.  It'll come in handy when you're slicing up the jalapeno.

Lop the top off then slice a line down the side.

Yeah. I know. Say it. Out loud. CC's veggies look like hoohas.

Pull out the ribs and seeds.

Cut 'em to strips.

Dice the little fuckers.

Dice the onion. Et voila.  Oh wait, forgot the fucking jalapeno.

I'd like to point out that eye protection and wearing gloves is a good idea while cutting jalapenos.  I skipped the gloves today and while wiping some juice that had sprayed near my eye (and landed on my glasses) I touched my eyelid by accident.  Mother fucking ow, folks.  

Oh and you want to dice the garlic folks.  That or crack open your bottle of prediced garlic and scoop some out..  Don't worry, I won't judge your non-fresh garlic.

Heat a couple of teaspoons of olive oil up. Can I point out that I now have a ceramic top cook top? Wooo! (I know, I'm lame.)

Toss in your veggies and stir around a bit.  You'll cook them for about 5 minutes stirring every now and then.

  In the mean time, drain and rinse your black beans, get your spices stock and brown sugar out (don't worry I'll give you the list below), chop some cilantro, locate that bottle of Worcestershire sauce that you only use for bloody marys, and pull out your lemon juice (that sounds dirty btw).

See? Picture of spices? Not very exciting.  This is also the time to add powdered stock, if you're lazy like me.

 Give it a good stir and cook for a few more minutes then add the black beans.

Yup, just like that.

Now add the Worcestershire sauce, the lemon juice (you could use lime too), and tomato sauce.  I kinda cheat on this one.  Instead of cracking open a big can or jar of sauce only to have it go moldy because I forgot about it in the fridge.  I usually just take 2-3 tablespoons of tomato paste and just add water until it measures out a cup.

Ta da!

Now just add 3 cups of water and let it cook for about 20 minutes.  Yes, you have time to go read your latest fanfic update.

I prefer to partially blend it with my hand blender.  That way, it's not like eating pasta-less minestrone and doesn't look like purred shit.  Top it with some sour cream and cilantro if that floats your boat and enjoy.

Here's the list o'ingredients:

• 2 tsp olive oil
• 1 cup each chopped onion, red pepper and carrot
• 5-6 cloves of garlic
• 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
• 3 cup beef or veggie stock
• 1 cup tomato sauce
• 2 cans black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 tsp Worcestershire Sauce
• 1 tbsp brown sugar
• 2 tbsp fresh cilantro
• 2 tsp dried oregano
• 1 tsp chili powder, and ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp of dried thyme
• 1/4 tsp of black pepper
• sour creme.